Day 33: Where do the days go?

I only have 3 more days until I am a third of the way through my 108 day journey of completing 108 Sun Salutations every day and it is FLYING by!! Honestly, it’s scary at how quickly it has gone. I am no where near my goal of raising $4000 by April 24th and I’m worried that I won’t make my goal of $12000 by the end of my 108 days on July 5th.

When I first started this campaign, I wasn’t really worried about the money at all. Something inside me told me that it will come and that I NEEDED to do this challenge. That little voice is getting smaller and smaller and while I am trying not to breed fear and I am trying to trust, I would be lying if I said that I am not worried. I am so scared of failing.  Not only failure on a personal level, but failure out “there”, in front of YOU, in front of the whole wide universe that I am LITERALLY putting myself in front of. GULP!

I tell you what, it is SUPER lonely out here on this cyberweb outer space galactica universe thing. I am SO grateful for all the encouraging texts and phone calls, emails and comments on my posts and blogs. They tend to come at JUST THE RIGHT MOMENT when I need a little boost and they always brighten my day. It’s weird trying to get people to “like” your shit. Do they want to see this or is today a better day for “that”? “I can’t get this video edited from DAY ONE!!!!! so I’m just NOT going to post it because it’s not PERFECT” – blah blah blah…

… and then I get these little rare moments – when I am doing my Sun Salutations and little Bonnie and sassy Lafawnduh step in and say hello and I realize that it doesn’t have to be so perfect all the time. The imperfections and the unexpected is going to happen. I don’t have to take this, or myself, so seriously!

I am doing my best to be authentic, every single day. To be honest with you and more importantly, myself.

I’m not under the delusion that following my dreams is going to be easy. I’m willing to put in the hard work. This is one reason why I am doing 108 Sun Salutations every day and why I have created this campaign. It takes, on average, 2-3 hours every day just to complete these salutations and then another hour or so to write a blog post. Not to mention all the social media time to promote, emails, phone calls, meetings… !! and I’m trying to weave this all around my usual work schedule at the dental office and try to keep afloat and take care of my clients with Squeaky Green. I’m doing all this while still trying to stay grounded and take care of my needs in between the sun salutations so that my body is able to keep up with the practice. PHEW!

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Heres the thing – all that is FINE. I’m used to having a very full schedule and  I typically do well under pressure. This however, is a totally different ballgame. It’s new to me and I’m navigating my way through it. I’ve never felt this vulnerable – well, that’s not true – strapped naked on a cold metal hospital bed while they are zapping you with radiation treatments is pretty vulnerable, but THIS is pretty close to that. Hmm, I’ve never really thought of it like that. Anyway, I lost my train of thought…

Yes! Vulnerable!! It’s SUPER weird asking people to believe in you and your dreams and asking for help is something that I have always struggled with. Yes, I’ll ask for a hand when moving or if I need to borrow an air mattress or my neighbor to watch my chickens when I am out of town, but mostly I internalize and strategize ways to make things work on my own. I know however that THIS is something that I need help with. While I do need help financially, it’s also something bigger than that.

I have a deep desire to help people.

To reach out to them and help lift them up. I know that my time with cancer and fighting cancer and stepping out of the big black hole of grief has it’s purpose and I am on a blazing path in search of answers.

For the past 6 years, India has been calling me and recently, something over there is calling VERY LOUDLY. Every fiber of my being knows that I need to be in India, the Mother Land. The birthplace of yoga, my guru. With civilizations older than Jerusalem and ancient wisdom and magic that speaks to my soul and feels like home. I want to learn from her and bring her knowledge back home, where I have begun to set down roots, and share with you and help others to realize that we all have the power to heal ourselves. Our bodies are programmed to do this. Completing my RYT500 training in Yoga Therapy will give me the tools to not only guide my personal journey, but to extend this knowledge and help others as well.

Everyone has their own personal journey and while my journey is different from yours – we are all walking through it together. I believe that you are here and I am here to reach out to one other and lift each other up. Community is ingrained in my Amish heritage blood and as I get older, it has become a strong desire in my life.

If you would like to donate to my campaign, or would like to support me in other ways – such as sharing this post with your friends and family or telling your co-workers about this campaign and my mission. Doing a sun salutation and dedicating it to my cause and sending out a warm prayer or good vibes – I would be SO APPRECIATIVE! I promise I can feel it and I am so grateful for all that you do. If you’ve gotten to the end of this long ass post – CONGRATS!!! Let me know! Send me a message, “like” the post – just to say “hey, I took time out of my day to read your creation” or let me know otherwise!
Thank you!!

I am here because of you and I am grateful everyday to be here.

My campaign page: gofund.me/Salutations2India